Friends don't let friends look like idiots in booties

I am an awful person.

Downright nasty.

Srsly, be warned.  If you are my friend, I just might purposely put you in a situation that will cause you to be unsure, unsteady,  maybe even a little uncomfortable just so I can laugh at you.

Awful.

Maybe you've read how I find a great deal of enjoyment in watching dogs in shoes.

Maybe you've read how I've spent many a lunch break looking up YouTube videos of dogs in shoes and then snorting wildly at my desk.

this one is my fave.

So maybe it won't come as a shock to read that the first chance I got to put my own dear, sweet, trusting puppy in shoes I jumped at it and then sat back, with recording device activated, to enjoy the show.

That he didn't care last week when I put Corey's t-shirt on him and screeched, "the baby's wearing pajamas!!" wasn't an indication to me that I might not get the reaction I desired, so I proceeded to strap on four canvas booties I had previously purchased for Oliver (who summarily stripped them off when it was his turn without even a single awkward prance for his mother's sake. The nerve.)

It was probably what my sister calls Christian Karma that Arnie didn't do anything.

I mean, he had a moment of, "here we go again...." and danced around the kitchen for a few seconds, but it was more from a lack of traction than ohmigawshthesethingsareeatingmyfeet!!  After a few uneasy steps he trotted all around my mom's kitchen, sniffing out the person who was shoving treats at him as I had him pinned to the ground to strap on the booties.

Not the wild, flailing dance I was hoping for.

Serves me right for trying to use my own puppy's uncertainty for my enjoyment.

I gave him treats.  Then I took off the booties.

...and that's when my mom strapped them to her Basset Hound, Maggie.

(insert evil laugh here)

:)

*******

No dogs were hurt in the making of this post, they were only a little confused and maybe a tad embarrassed.

I'm still here, are you?!

Hello.

I missed you.

Let's not stay apart for this long again. 

Um, it's Stacie.

No, not Tracy, Stacie.

Don't worry, I get that all the time.

My fault, anyway.  I've never spent this much time away from the blog.  Not when I was so stressed I nearly threw my parents' printer into their pool while trying to print wedding RSVP cards, or when I had the oh-so-hectic schedule of work, work, work, quick dinner, memorize lines, rehearsal, felt during rehearsal, drive home, fall into bed.  I always managed to have a story to tell, or had a story I wanted to tell.

But I was also happy then.

Now I'm just....blah.

At church on Sunday I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a few months.  Our quick let's-catch-up-in-the-10-minutes-before-the-next-service-starts conversation made me chuckle in a laugh-so-I-don't-cry kinda way.

It went a little somethin' like this:

"Hey! How are you?!"

"Oh fine, and you?"

"Good, good..."

(small talk)

"....did you hear we got a puppy?"

"Oh!  But you still have Oliver, right?"

"Well, no.  We had to put him down in January."

"Oh no I'm so sorry!"

"Yeah, he got sick...."

(small talk)

"So how's your mom?"

"Well...."

"Oh that's right, I heard her father died."

"In February, yeah...."

(small talk)

"...and at least my mom has some company, with (sister) and (bro-in-law) living with her."

"What?  I thought they lived up north?"

"Well, in December (bro-in-law, sheriff's deputy) had to shoot and kill someone so now they're staying with my mom while he fights debilitating anxiety...."

...

We only had a few minutes to talk so that's as far as we got.  Plus I think there's this thing in the Bible about not complaining, so....

It's just not happy-time here on the farm, is what I'm tryin' to say. 

I'm sad for my losses and for my sisters' struggles.  I wish that my family didn't have to move halfway across the country leaving me all alone here.  I'm ready for something to go right so that I can see a light at the end of this very dark tunnel...I know it's there but my faith is wearing thin.

Or as I told my mom, maybe the sun just needs to come out so I can get some vitamin D already!

Not that long ago I saw a co-worker go through a similar year where one thing after another just went wrong.  I felt bad for her and thought she had the worst luck in the world.  But then things started to not go wrong, and eventually life evened out and I saw that it wasn't a case of bad luck that she was going through but one of those "seasons" big kids were always are talking about.

Seasons.  So mature sounding.  Short for "that time I wanted to hibernate for six months."

Another big-girl lesson learned:

1) Sometimes things just go wrong for awhile.

Also:

2) Girl scout cookies make you fat.

So, boo.  All I can do just hang in there....

...and freak out.

Just kidding.  I'm just going to wait.

Rod Stewart and candy heart distractions

My dog died yesterday.

Whoa, way to just jump right into it, Stace.

If you follow me and/or Corey on Facebook you got the play-by-play over the weekend.  It wasn't a horrific, painful thing.  Just sad.  And quick.

If you don't follow me and/or Corey those are probably the only deets you'll get because re-living the whole thing makes me curl up into a little ball of crocodile tears and snot and a lot of ugly.  Really ugly.  And right now there are a few puddles of water under my desk from the snow I tracked in so it's just not a good time to get all up under there, plus I already lost, like, four pounds from crying all day yesterday.

It was water weight.

So in an effort to 1) not talk about it and 2) distract myself, I'm going on a random streak.

Be warned, I have no idea where this is going:

There is a chair in the bathroom at my office.  I'm tempted to just have a seat and wait for someone to walk in and carry on as if we're both there to chat about our days.

My breakfast these days is a chocolate protein shake.  I take my shake into the shower with me.

I wanted to get bangs again, but I'm afraid that if I do it now everyone will think I'm on a Michelle Obama bandwagon.  Not that I'm against that, I just like to march to the beat of my own drummer.

With that said, I would hate to be a "groupie" of anything.  Corey's co-worker looks exactly like Rod Stewart and while we were together at the track a few summers ago I thought, "ohmigosh people are staring, they think we're latch-ons!!"  Did not like the feeling.  What I did like: using that fake fame to get right into a busy restaurant later on.

I don't eat potato chips.  But sometimes I do, and those times I'm like, "uggghhh why am I eating these, I don't even like potato chips."  And then ten minutes later I'm like, "ugggghhh why am I STILL eating these?"  And not long after that I'm like, "uggghhhh I just finished that bag and now I have a stomach ache!"

That just happened.

I don't write about potty humor here even though I'm like a 12-year-old and find it extremely amusing.  My thoughts on this: if I want people to take me semi-seriously as a business lady I should act a tad professional in my blog posts.  I mean, I'm still 100% honest in my (very few) posts, I just leave out the gas.

Even though I really want to tell you about the one night I was startled awake by a fart.  It wasn't mine.  Living with a boy has been interesting, and kinda smelly.

I have four mini holes in the shirt I'm wearing today.  It's only after I've been at work for a few hours that, oh yeah, this is the shirt that has all those dang holes in it!

Speaking of swearing, I kinda gave up on my New Year's resolutions.  You know, because I was looking for this year to be better than the last two and what with my dog dying I figured that puts a check in the lose column for 2013.  Geez Louise.

But I'm not talking about that.

Still fighting a potato chip ache.  But on top of the chips is now a milk chocolate/caramel heart my co-worker brought in for me.  It'll be a long day of digesting.

Do you watch The Bachelor?  Doesn't Tierra look/act just a tad (sarcasm italics) like someone else we grew to loathe?  *coughCourtneycough*  And I am disappointed in Kacie B.  Girlfriend was my favorite in Ben's season and now?  Oh Kacie B.

Don't watch The Bachelor?  Please disregard the above.  But you should watch so we have something to talk about.

That's about it for now.  I'm fixin' to have me a breakdown thinking about going home to an apartment with no wagging tail.

You don't want to be around for it.

Thanks for the distraction, friends!

A Merry Humblebrag Christmas to you!!

If Corey and I had not been so wrapped up in fantasy football and jewelry prep, respectively, the following
would have been our Christmas letter to you:

credit: corey and his cell phone

Seasons Greetings to our family, friends, neighbors, work colleagues we like, senators, president, 

visiting dignitaries and bearded milkman!

Oh how this holiday season crept up on us this year!  We Lucases like to stay busy throughout the year and that means sometimes it seems as we're looking down at a summer Saratoga racing form 

three months go by and it's time to roast that holiday ham!

This year Corey was promoted from technical recruiter at his company to owner.  Of course this came with a 500% increase in pay which finally gave us the opportunity to buy that seven bedroom house on the beach in Puerto Rico we've been eyeing for years.  Spring in "the Puerto" as us locals call it ;) is absolutely magical. 

He also picked up his hockey stick and laced up his skates for the first time in two decades for a little recreational fun in the Saratoga men's league.  The NHL got wind of his reemergence and signed him to a three-year deal with the Canadians!  Obviously, this is just a part-time job.  His real passion is for web-based system development.

credit: same celly

Stacie has landed her first QVC special for her felted wool jewelry to air during this Christmas season.  Actresses Angelina Jolie and Helen Mirren have even endorsed her natural alpaca line which is now selling so fast she has had to hire local teens 

to do most of her felting.  But although she has more work than time, she still manages to paint murals on 

several of the city's graffiti covered buildings.

Oliver joined the Navy SEALs and is planning his first secret mission later in January.

Best wishes to all, except those work colleagues we don't like, for a happy and healthy New Year!

The Lucases

Just another crazy dog lady

I'm a dog person.

A weirdo dog person; one who stops strangers to pet the iddy-biddy long haired chihuahuas they're carrying deep down inside their coats even if it means invading some serious personal space.

And I would expect the same if I had somehow managed to strap my 80 pound Golden somewhere onto my person.

Which I cannot.

I have tried.

Also as a dog person I allow myself to become as tiny as possible when I sleep so that my poor aging Oliver has room to stretch out on the bed when we retire for the evening.  After a few minutes of wrestling for position and covers and then fighting off nose jabs to my face we end up like this:

Oh the things we do for our D-O-Gs. 

Give thanks!

Puppies

Chocolate

Family

Autumn

The smell of asphalt when it rains

Salvation

Long underwear

My talents

My abilities

My personality

Iced coffee

Oliver

Evidence of creation

Big birds

My job

Snow, lots and lots of snow

Technology, like DVR and seat warmers

Waking up today

Friends

Anti-wrinkle cream

America

Hot showers

Education

Success in business
Romantic comedies

My thanks and praise for all things big and small to God alone :)

Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving!!

I work hard. For dog clothes.

You are going to be mildly impressed blown away by this post.

No, really.

I'm normally not too keen on wrapping up my weekends here, mostly because nothing happens besides the typical 30hr felting session//craft show//zombie movie marathon//remembering loved ones who have passed.  But this past weekend was just too much to not share.

Too. Much.

Day One: my very first auction.  I can't find the words...no I can find the words, I just can't arrange them into a sentence that conveys how exciting this was for me. 

Thank you bullets:

• I love junk.
• I love to repurpose junk.
• I love working for my junk.
• I love a good deal.
• I love old stuff.
• I love watching people.
• I love imagining why anyone would want German woodcut figurines.
• I love out-of-the-ordinary activities.

While driving home with my mom, my sister, our junk, and her 1860's drop leaf table she got for $17.50thankyouverymuch:

"Hi honey (this is my mom on the phone to my dad), we're just on our way home from an auction......Yeah, an auction.  Stacie dragged us to it......(to me)  Your father said that had you written all over it."

I may or may not have ended up with $13 in goods by way of a paddle-happy sister.  But in her defense she was sure I needed a gold framed oval mirror.

Also Day One: Mr. Oliver T. Lucas is now the proud owner of a brand new rain jacket!

He hates it, but we are hoping he'll grow to appreciate it on those days we would normally have to call off walks due to inclement weather (drizzle).

"Yay, Oliver has a rain jacket!"

"Yaaay....you do realize this means we have to walk him in the rain, right?"

"......oh."

One More Thing About Day One:  turkey sandwich. 

What?!  It was a great sandwich.

Day Two:  shopping and holiday coffee and nap and zombies. 

At the end of this day I had Christmas gift ideas, one shirt I don't need, another shirt I'll wear once this year, peppermint mocha in my belly, one hour of uninterrupted snuggle time with the dog, and my weekly fix of zombie apocalypse.

At The Very End of Day Two: banana split.

My current vice.  Don't judge.

...

Of course there was some work to be done.  Which I did.  Because those four necklaces, 13 baby headbands and acorn ornaments can't make themselves, am I right? or am I right?! or am I right?!?

And that brings us to Monday.

Aren't Mondays easier when you know there's an eatin' holiday coming up?

Is this just me?